Face Of Death.

Why are there people that need a Daily Dose of Drama? (Triple D, ha)

It's like a drug for them. They are willing to hurt the friends they say they love in order to get this daily dosage.

Why can't things just DIE when they're suppose to?

There are incidents that should have just been forgotten. And yet, knowing just how much tension and awkwardness can be created by the resurrecting of an incident, these people are still willing to bring it back up and drags it through the mud.

Why is the "good" in good friend so ambiguous?

When you try to save a friend from getting their heart broken again, you're considered "not supportive". Yet, in the end, when their heart has been broken, you get blamed for "not informing them of a mistake they're making."

WHY OH WHY?

I have this friend, who wears her heart on her sleeve. No, that's an understatement.

But, no matter how many times she says she "just got her heart ripped out then stomped on" and "will not make such rash decisions again", I always end up sitting on the floor with my arms around her murmuring about how things will "be okay."

And remember the Triple D previously mentioned? Well, she's a hardcore addict.

Just when things are working out for everyone around her, she will cause some sort of uproar in order to totally and completely mess up everyone else's lives so her own won't seem so bad (even when it isn't that bad at all, but once again, drama addict). But, if there's no easy way to stir up trouble dealing with a current situation, you can be sure that some absolutely awful complication from the past will be brought back into the present.

My life wasn't perfect a few days ago, but it was still (barely) manageable. I was able to smile on my way from class to class, and keep that little skip in my step. Family was being smothering and schoolwork was becoming overwhelming, but at least I had my friends for to get me through each day.

Oh, but now I know better than to even let my happiness be dependent on the actions of my buds.

Yesterday, I received a personal attack from this particular friend of mine, that made me realize the rather large parts of my world that were crashing down around me: family, school, friends...the will to keep going. (God, that sounds suicidal. Don't worry though, I'm not.)

Public humiliation, she felt, was the best way to express her feelings towards me.

In order for anyone to understand how much this actually affected me, it needs to be known that I am not an outwardly angry person. When I'm upset, or even extremely angry, I will (in an unhealthy way, I'm sure) keep it bottled up inside. So, from anyone else's perspective, I would still seem the happy-go-lucky girl that I usually am. It it extremely rare to see me visibly upset.

Now, yesterday, that line was crossed. I was far beyond angry.

Try furious.
Livid, even.

I snapped, which resulted in a minor confrontation in class that finally putting an end to the public humiliation, and shut her up.

That wasn't the end, however. For the rest of the day my face, apparently, was...scary.

According to some rather reliable sources, I looked like I was ready to murder someone with my bare hands.

A smile was out of the question, due to me not even being able to look semi-calm.

The day ended in me driving for half an hour on an endless road in the rain, hoping to rid my "Face Of Death" so my already (annoyingly) concerned parents wouldn't ask about what was wrong. The long drive worked, sort of.

That was yesterday, Bad Day #1.

Today, despite my many attempts steer clear from unhappiness, became Bad Day #2.

I'm not so sure I can handle three Bad Days in a row, but I'm pretty sure three is an optimistic number at this point.