Green Walls And Pink Floors.

It's only been half an hour since my first blog. Is it normal to be writing a second one so quickly?

Already, I feel like I'm doing this all wrong. A blog a day, right?

Hmm..."right". Recently, my subconscious mind has informed my conscious one that I really do care about what others think. I know, I know, absolutely shocking. Self-consciousness is quite the rare disorder to happen upon a teenage girl. Let me clarify. It's not the kind that swallows you up until you're nothing more than a sponge, sucking in everything around you to fill your holes. No, it's the kind that most people (I'd assume) have.

Not such a big deal, right? Right. No, wrong. Well, it depends.

To me, a person who's lived all her life wanting to be the girl that stands out from the crowd, it is a rather big deal. Humongous, actually.

It's like when you've been climbing this mountain all your life, feeling like you're closing in on the tip-top with every step you take, and suddenly, you realize that you've been climbing...in place. No matter what you do, you can't seem to move beyond those two footprints in the mud.

...

Oh lord. Have I ever sounded more like a person whose depression is getting worse by the blog? No, probably not.

Believe it or not, I'm a relatively happy person. I'm the kind of person you'd find dancing in the cereal aisle when a good song comes on and I think no one's looking. I'm be the happy dwarf in Snow White. My room has bright green walls and pink carpeting (by choice). I belt out old Chinese songs with my daddy on a daily basis. I'm the annoyingly happy person with an actual skip in her everyday step.

How in the world did I manage to sound like THAT?

Who knows?

Maybe it's the fact that it's 1:44 AM. Or maybe it's the 23rd cup of tea I'm gulping down. But I bet it's the fact that I've got to use the bathroom.

Having a full bladder has this weird way of changing a person. But, we'll save that interesting thought for another time.

In the mean time, I think I'll get some more tea ready and crawl into bed with "Breaking Dawn", Moo-Moo and an empty bladder.

Mountain-climbing will just have to wait another night.